By Willie Geist
“Willie Geist is one half Twain, one half Carrot best, components Heckle, and one half Jeckle.”
—John Heilemann and Mark Halperin, authors of Game Change
“I’ve learn laminated plane defense playing cards with better highbrow heft. Turning severe: Willie Geist is the proper man to chronicle our decidedly imperfect times."
—Brian Williams, NBC Nightly News anchor and dealing with editor
In the hilarious big apple instances bestseller American Freak Show, Geist takes the shrewdpermanent, biting commentary enjoyed via his tv viewers to new satirical extremes. The real-life characters who now hang-out our day-by-day lives are solid as stars in thoroughly made-up scenes which are frighteningly with reference to reality.
Geist supplies us the 1st examine President Sarah Palin’s unconventional 2012 inaugural deal with, played continue to exist WWE’s Monday evening Raw. We move contained in the ballroom for a Dean Martin–style welcome roast of Bernie Madoff upon his arrival in Hell, with Pol Pot serving as roastmaster. George W. Bush’s batting-cage-and-waterslide-themed plans for a presidential library are laid out publicly for the 1st time. And new for the paperback version, Geist places us within the room as Jesus joins fb, with assistance from a modern day messiah named Mark Zuckerberg.
From Obama to Oprah, Afghanistan to Lohan, Snooki to the Salahis, Willie Geist spares nobody as our host of this wild American Freak Show. You’ll chortle out loud whereas weeping for the way forward for the USA.
Read or Download American Freak Show: The Completely Fabricated Stories of Our New National Treasures PDF
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Extra resources for American Freak Show: The Completely Fabricated Stories of Our New National Treasures
But his greatest prize was the island maiden Kukaphahora, now Lady Middleton, a six-foot-two-inch, jewel-bedecked princess of a tribe indigenous to a far-flung atoll. Her village had worshiped Sir John as a god舒until they discovered their new deity, in the dead of night, digging a pit from whence to strip-mine the diamonds that glittered in ore deep beneath the village. They nearly castrated him along with all his men, but he and his company fought loose, razed the village, murdered the men most triumphantly, and dragged away the women in their nets.
Lady Middleton piqued herself upon the elegance and extravagance of her table, and of all her domestic arrangements; she loved to surprise her English visitors with displays of hospitality native to her homeland, such as flavoring her soups with monkey urine and not telling anyone she had done so until the bowl had been drained. But Sir John舗s satisfaction in society was much more real; he delighted in collecting about him more young people than his house would hold, and the noisier they were the better he was pleased.
The front coil of a fire-serpent had been spotted by the night watchman through his spyglass; the beast was some leagues out to sea, but it was uncertain how far inland such creatures could deliver a fireball. 舠Perhaps it is best we cower in the attic for the time being,舡 suggested John Dashwood to his wife, who most readily agreed, pushing past him as they rushed up the stairs. This conversation gave to Mr. Dashwood舗s intentions whatever of decision was wanting before; and by the time they emerged to find, to their relief, that only a small woodland parcel on the outskirts of the estate had been singed, he had resolved that it would be absolutely unnecessary to do more for the widow and children of his father than he and his wife had determined.
American Freak Show: The Completely Fabricated Stories of Our New National Treasures by Willie Geist